Social Anxiety — Diving deep into tackling Social Phobia
Simple yet effective steps to remain confident while being out there in public
Ever felt sudden chills, shivers, and cold-sweat in certain situations, mostly involving public places with a massive crowd? This is what social anxiety is all about.
According to the statistics provided by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA), around 15 million adults in the United States fall prey to social anxiety disorder every year, generally indicated by their fear of being judged and called at in public.
Social Anxiety comes in a variety of forms; Some find it hard to work properly in situations involving constant dealing with strangers, i.e., Working as a sales rep or a receptionist. For some, attending social events like parties and reunions is one heck of a task to fulfill. Others might tremble out of exhaustion when speaking to a crowd. Eventually, they confine themselves to their rooms, curl up in the bed, and refuse to leave the house.
Although we are quite familiar with social anxiety as a condition, it is equally misunderstood among the masses. Common misconceptions are making people turn a blind eye to this surging condition, some of which are as follow:
Misconceptions About Social Anxiety
· Social Anxiety Is Not That Common
Social Anxiety is experienced by almost everyone at least once in their life at some point, whether during the first day at high school or the first day at work as a fresher. Roughly 15% of the population is thought to have social anxiety to the point to be considered as a Disorder.
· Shyness and Anxiety Are Alike
Social anxiety is often misinterpreted as shyness. Introversion or shyness is a personality trait and shy people tend to remain more or less satisfied with their personality.
· Social Anxiety Is Only Limited to Public Speaking Fear
The signs and symptoms of Social Anxiety may show up in different situations, from large gatherings to a formal meet-up with a stranger, as well as in public speaking.
· You Just Have to Learn to Live with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)
Mental disorders have various treatments and effective remedies that work as a proper cure. You don’t have to just “live with it” rather you need to find the potential within your inner-self to live your life to the fullest.
These misconceptions are not only playing a pivotal role in nullifying the importance and seriousness of SAD as a mental condition but are also demotivating the sufferers to take the curbing measures and get rid of it.
Overcoming the Ailment
Before referring to the curative steps, I find it prudent to mention that getting rid of SAD is a gradual and steady process. It is never a great idea to be impatient and await results within days. So, try incorporating the following tips into your lifestyle and remember; the key is to stay firm and forbearing.
1. Identify the Negativity
The primary step to curb a problem is to identify the root cause which, in this case, is the storm of negative thoughts swirling over a person’s mind while being in uncomfortable situations. Certain thoughts tease one’s mind while meeting a stranger such as:
“What would he be thinking about me?”
“What is making him stare at me like that? It must be my hairstyle, or the clothes, or the shaking voice, or moving hands.”
“Now I’m looking like a fool with zero sense of communication.”
Analyze these negative thoughts by questioning your negativity; For instance, if you’re going to give a class presentation and having anxiety-inducing thoughts like
“What if I became nervous, my hands started trembling and my voice started shaking?”
ask yourself, “Even if I appeared nervous or anxious, would people really do think I am incompetent?”
Logical questions like these would help you get over the negative thoughts, eventually making you capable of replacing them with positive ones.
2. Stop Assuming Unnecessarily
The unnecessary assumptions about others being too judgmental towards you is another harmful thinking style. Assuming that you’re reading others’ overly critical minds does more harm than good. Similarly, predicting that things will get worst just because you “think” won’t make them horrible, since it is just you blowing things out of proportion.
To get over such assumptions, you need to set up a positive mindset about others. Not everyone is judgmental, nor has anyone got enough time to notice those tiny details you are making a big deal about. Even if someone notices your nervousness, it doesn’t imply that they will think badly of you — they might have gone through (or are going through) the same.
3. Increase Focus on Others
Being mentally prepared for the upcoming situation helps a lot at times, but getting too caught up in your own thoughts causes you to lose concentration. Being overly aware of the words and actions you are going to say and perform would trigger even more anxiety. That’s because this “a little too much” self-awareness notifies you of your nervousness which in return would wander you away from focusing on your surroundings.
The internal focus can be turned into an external one by merely putting your mind to what’s happening around you. Following are the tips to switch your focus from “inside” towards “outside”:
· Try actually listening to what is being discussed.
· Partake in the conversation even if the topic goes against your interest.
· Your focused attention upon others’ minds shouldn’t be about what they are thinking of YOU, rather about what is their approach towards the topic being discussed.
· Engage yourself necessarily in a discussion with others and evaluate their thoughts in a positive sense.
4. Play out the Worst-Case Scenario
Sometimes overthinking gives you a real tough time in a way that it becomes much harder for you to get rid of all the preconceived thoughts about others. In such a case, you would need to play out the worst-case scenario to get better of them. Yes, it does help.
Catastrophizing is based more on fears than facts and if you can’t get over those fears, how about playing them out? Let’s discuss two of the presumed “what-ifs” and their possible solutions in awkward scenarios:
· During Work Presentation; “What if I became nervous? What if I completely messed up everything?”
Well, you will surely get a second chance and the best you can do about it is to evaluate what actually went wrong, which points out, it’s a lesson, not a failure.
· Speaking in Crowds; “What if I fumbled and forgot what to say?”
So in this case, you shall keep in mind that speaking clumsily does happen once or twice with almost everyone and isn’t a big deal at all. Practice as much as possible and you will start delivering speeches confidently, even with SAD.
5. Push Yourself to the Limit
People with social anxiety tend to avoid situations they’re not comfortable with. Remember, avoidance can be a relieving procedure in the short term, but it restrains you from gaining confidence socially in the long term. This consistent avoidance might lessen your ability to stay calm in sudden and unforeseen situations.
You can start pushing yourself in such situations gradually. It is never recommended to force things too much upon you abruptly, but it’s a gradual step-by-step procedure. Here’s how you can start interacting with your colleagues today:
i. Start with a formal “hello” and ask them work-related questions.
ii. Later, when you see them getting along with you within your comfort zone, have lunch or coffee with them, sort out the topics of mutual interests and have formal discussions on them.
iii. Ask them to go out for a walk or even coffee after work.
iv. Share your personal experiences with them if you see them exhibiting the same personality traits as you.
v. Since you have built enough trust in them now, you would never let yourself shy away from attending office parties, events, or gatherings with your colleagues.
Similarly, making efforts to “grant” some hours from your daily routine to socializing helps a lot in suppressing your fears. Planning different situations for each day of the week makes it easier for you to take the initial steps. From casually going out for a walk, having a conversation with strangers, asking or helping others out at the market and stores, to attending birthday parties in your neighborhood — plenty of social situations await you! Arfa Karim Randhawa, the youngest Microsoft Certified Professional of her time, once said;
“ If you want to do something big in your life, you must remember that shyness is only in the mind. If you think shy, you act shy. If you think confident, you act confident. Therefore, never let shyness conquer your mind.”
I find it one of the most inspiring quotes of all time, particularly for the people battling with Social Anxiety.
6. Have a Trustworthy Company
While agreeing to the fact that everyone, regardless of what personality trait they exhibit, have a certain bubble around them which they never intend to let anyone cross, I must say that a trustworthy company to share one’s thoughts with is equally important too. That may be a friend, brother, sister, or even the parents.
It has been established earlier that excessive internal focus is counterproductive which, in turn, implies that there is a dire need for a listener. Even trustworthy acquaintances can be your listeners if they have something to relate to your sufferings. Once you’re confident enough to let them enter your comfort zone, you shall be convinced to express your emotions to them. This move would gradually incapacitate the dwelling negativity inside your mind, eventually getting replaced by a positive mindset.
7. Adopt Healthy Lifestyle
Mental and physical health have an intrinsic link. Poor mental health increases the risk of developing serious physical health complications. Likewise, a weakened physique would cause mental health to deteriorate, impairing social functioning. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle along with frequent checks on cholesterol, blood pressure and weight can play a significant role in an overall reduction of anxiety levels.
To remain fit and healthy, social activities must be made a priority. Here are some dos and don’ts you must embrace alongside your regular anxiety disorder treatment:
· Get physically active: Plan an activity fully directed towards the betterment of your physique. A simple informal walk for 20 minutes can ward off the risks of heart disease, obesity, muscle cramps, and stomach-related problems, mainly gastritis. Studies have also proven that exercising regularly releases endorphins which assist in decreasing the perception of pain and induce a positive feeling.
· Limit caffeine intake: Most of us are unknowingly addicted to caffeinated drinks namely coffee, tea, carbonated and energy drinks. The uncontrolled consumption of these drinks not only irritates the stomach, liver, and bladder but also triggers anxiety symptoms. Consider holding back caffeine intake beyond the normal limit which is generally twice a day.
· Maintain a healthy diet: Adding natural supplements to your regular diet such as omega-3 fatty acids, vitamins, and calcium tabs can not only reduce risks of developing heart disease but is also thought to have a positive impact on mental health.
· Quit smoking: It is widely believed that smoking reduces anxiety levels, which is contrary to the facts. For smokers, nicotine works as an “easy way out” of their emotional problems, eventually leading them to severe repercussions, mainly depression.
8. Seek Medical Assistance
If your surging social anxiety is a consequence of some other emotional or mental disorders; for instance, childhood trauma, dissociative disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), OR no any of the practical and emotional solutions seem to be working out, you must seek medical assistance.
Needless to say, there is absolutely no disgrace in seeing a professional psychotherapist or psychiatrist. The judgmental behavior of society plays a critical role in agitating socially awkward people, while stigmatizing the clinical treatment of SAD via psychotherapist adds an insult to injury. In order to convince yourself to schedule an appointment with a specialist, you must get over with the unnecessary stigmatization of being a mental disorder patient.
Conclusion
Overcoming the anxiety disorder is a gradual and systematic process. Developing the conventions and standards of social interactions take time. I know it is easier said than done, but once you took an initiative and started working your way up to become a socially confident person, you will find out that this was the step worth taking. Never forget the timeless saying of Lao Tzu:
“Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”
